my body freezes
i blink as my mouth
runs dry.
what do i know about myself?
who am i?
i, as a human being,
am shaped by my experiences
so why, when asked this question
can i not answer?
i try to think about
the hundreds of things i could share
and yet, when i open my mouth,
nothing seems to come out.
sometimes i wish
that i was just like everyone else;
that we all shared the same favorites,
the same experiences,
making connections easier to form.
i wouldn’t have to lie
because i am blanking on my favorite movie.
i would know how to answer
“tell me about yourself”
because we would all already
know each other so well.
why can’t i answer?
why is memory so fleeting?
i can more easily recite
stories my dad tells me
about his time in his rock-and-roll band,
or how old my mother was
when she moved to america.
i would rather talk about them
over something i like
or something that has happened to me.
and i realized this is because
i don’t value my experience.
so when you ask me to tell you about myself
i will probably say something
about why i chose to be a finance major
or about my hometown
and when you ask me my favorite song
or my favorite outfit
i will probably make something up
or say the first thing that comes to mind
and then change the subject to you.
and then,
who knows,
maybe you will tell me a half-truth too.