Gravity is the enemy of us all. For me, it is specifically problematic. Let me explain. Relying on people to help transfer me onto chairs, my bed or asking people to open doors for me is exhausting. As I’ve grown older, I’ve started to realize that it may be exhausting for my caretakers as well. It makes a connection between us but sometimes can be a drag on our relationship. I must remain vigilant, having to anticipate the erratic actions of people going about their day who don’t see me in the wheelchair. Waiting for people to help me do basic things is frustrating when I just want to do a simple task, like getting a glass from the cabinet. Even though life can be tough at times, it is still manageable. This mentality is how I go about life day to day and is what made me a very resilient person who doesn’t let anything get in my way. If I didn’t have this mentality, then I would be unable to do things that are challenging. Being faced with challenges is what gives life value. In my experience, doing the best you can in everyday situations, and embracing the determination to succeed in the face of adversity is the turning point of childhood into adulthood.
Most of these struggles are derived from my diagnosis, an incurable disease called muscular dystrophy that forces me to be in a wheelchair. I must deal with people running into me and not holding doors for me. Even though things happen, I still manage to get through the day without giving it second thoughts. In school, writing is sometimes a challenge by getting muscle cramps and stiffness. Doing things independently is a struggle too; from being unable to reach things to having to be transferred, I try not to let these things lower my confidence. At the end of the day, everyone is human. Not everyone is a wheelchair user, but I’ve come to realize that everyone still has daily struggles that can negatively affect them and cause undue stress. I am personally able to get through these circumstances, whether brought about by my diagnosis or just the normal stressors that any teenager goes through. When these situations come up, I repeatedly tell myself to never give up. Even though some days I get overwhelmed, what keeps me going is the reminder that my whole family is willing to help me and are very proud of all the milestones I have accomplished.
Having independence in the water is the only time I can feel truly free. In a pool, I am able to walk on my own and do things I am not capable of on land. This feeling of individuality has made me realize that even though I can’t do this on land, I get a sense of captivating solace while in the pool. I realized this feeling does not have to be restricted to aquatics; that this freedom helps build a positive personal mindset more than any physical restriction can limit my self-esteem. I can achieve this by giving my full and best efforts every day, to prove to myself that there are aspects of my life that are under my control and utilize all the skills I do have to live my life to its fullest potential.
Water means independence and freedom. When I am in a pool, weightless, I can walk with my own power, an impossible feat on land. This elated feeling is fundamental and offers captivating solace. I yearn to feel like that all the time, even if I can’t walk. The feeling lives in my limbs, my breath and my mind’s eye as I strive to relive it as I roll on doing my all-time best every day, to live independently.