She could’ve been my spouse
but she left me running after her.
She lived by the ocean, blue like her car.
I remember her pantry, how wonderfully it was organized
and the many recipes we made into reality.
Exercise was not her style,
lungs not the strongest,
so movies were the name of the game,
until I lost the plot.
Some called it a charity case
I, constantly pulling her in
as she pushed me away.
Allergies prevented a cat in her household
only dogs and hamsters,
the latter getting lost in her furniture.
Thrice she came to my dorm,
not an apartment, not a home,
her shadow still dwells regardless.
I shall not be the judge of her
and I wish she was not the judge of me,
it once took its toll on my health
until it grew bored of its captive.
When the night grows silent
I’ll look back through a telescope
a glimpse into the Dan who died,
left on the bridge between lives.
She no longer polices my existence,
my place, retired and empty
now filled anew,
as she finds a vacancy elsewhere.
I will not be in denial that it all happened.